Friday, January 27, 2012

Go slow & wait...

Clay is now three months & three days old!! I can't believe how fast the time has gone. He weighs 11lbs 3oz & is 2ft long! He has out-grown of a lot of his clothes--I had to bring all the newborn sizes back home & replace them with 3mo sizes. It kinda makes me sad to think about. I don't really feel like I got to know him as a newborn--he was so sick in the beginning. But it amazes me to look at him now.  He acts so appropirate & looks so healthy!

And he is an appropriate & healthy 3 month old, aside from the breathing thing. It's easy for me to look past all the wires & tubes & cords coming from little Clay's body because I am with him day in & day out. It's easy for me to forget that his little lungs & diaphragm are still weak--because he does SO well on the hospital ventilator.  But I was reminded this week: Clay still needs a lot of help to breathe.  We were hoping to find the 'just right' setting for the home ventilator. After lots of tweaking, specialists, discussions with pulmonology, etc--we had to face the fact that Clay is not ready to come home just yet. The problem with the home vent is that it can't pick up on Clay's baby breaths to provide them with extra support--the technology is not as advanced with the home ventilators as it is with the big hospital ventilator. And, there are no home vents made for anyone under 15lbs. So, we will have to wait until Clay grows & his lungs & diaphragm strengthen some more. 

I'm not gonna lie, me & Eric are bummed.  But we know there's a reason. If a couple more months in the hospital means we get to bring home a much healthier baby, we'll take it!  Clay has come so far & I just know he'll continue to make fast progress.  In the meantime, I'll continue to spend my days getting lots of lovins & coaxing the cutest smile EVER outta that boy :)

ONE DAY, we will be home.


  1. The strength that you and Eric have amazes me with each post I read. I think I know where Mr. Clay's strength comes from!!! And the prayers coming have just increased it! Estill County will be glad to welcome you home when you cross over that line. That day will come!

  2. THe feelings about missing out on your newborn is so hard. It took me so long to get over it while at the same time so thankful. You totally understand the emotions that are everywhere! It hurt so bad to miss out on the nursing,cuddling, everything. I worried he wouldnt know me. Can I tell you now that he is a momma's boy and none of that made a difference for him? =o) I know it is so hard as you go through it though. I STILL get pangs about the NICU and find myself crying. ((hugs))
    he will surprise you....and continue to! Hope they give him a chance on home vent again soon! He is heading in the right direction! I believe Camden was around 10 pounds when he went to vent. Had a few days of adjusting. Clay is on his way!! Just checked out his pics on darling!! A blessing...